Posted Today, 18:27
My mother taught me many of "the rules" of civility, when I was at the height of my "the world is stupid and it should be the way I work instead" arc. And it required teaching; I don't pick up social cues just by being around them. Not sure what that's called; I think there's a term?
She then told me that, like good writing or poetry, you don't have to follow the rules; in fact sometimes it's best to deliberately break them to make a point. But you do need to *know* when you're breaking them, or you'll be doing it by accident and losing the goodwill of people you didn't intend to.
Knowing that there are rules you can learn (and that they're not set in stone; in different places and cultures the rules are different, and it's *my* job to adjust as I enter them) was a turning point; one that many people have assisted with since then, and knowing the questions to ask has made the Great Wide Web (or something like that) an excellent resource for finding answers. I am told (third hand, at least) that despite everything I have Social Skills these days; often enough to almost believe them.
Having been reminded that Bridge is a Partnership Game (saith the book), though, I am reminded that "there is one person in the room that wants you to do well. It is easy to turn them to the other side." I try not to do that.
Moderators (and hrothgar :-), if this seems too off-topic, please feel free to delete.
When I go to sea, don't fear for me, Fear For The Storm -- Birdie and the Swansong (tSCoSI)