Winstonm, on 2018-January-23, 22:54, said:
Well, I tend to think of others as an extension of myself and it never dawns on me that anyone could be stupid enough to think race has anything to do with anything, so I assume (wrongly, it seems) that others see race the same as me.
I offer myself for consideration.
I have been married three times, this third marriage was 23 years ago and is going fine, thank you.
All three of my marriages have been to white women. I don't think the fact that all three were white is just a coincidence but I don't think that makes me a racist. I don't think the fact that all three were women is a coincidence but I don't think that makes me homophobic.
To look at it from another angle, all three were from fairly modest economic backgrounds. My first wife's father was an iron miner, after he had health problems he became a bartender. My family background is also modest economically so again I don't think it is a coincidence that the same is true of my wives. Becky's parents actually sent her to a private college, so definitely this is a step up the economic ladder for me, but it was Ohio Northern, not Wellesley. Her family lived in San Francisco near Haight Asbury in the 1960s and Ohio sounded like a very good place!
The trick, I think, is not to assert that race has absolutely nothing to do with anything but rather to accept that we are all, in religious language, children of the same god. And again, you do not have to believe in a god, as you don't and I don't, to accept the truth of this.
I dated some women who came from considerable wealth but, to turn a phrase, such girls are fine to date but you wouldn't want to marry one of them. Easy, that's my attempt at humor. My fundamental point is that we can acknowledge the existence of differences without being any sort of -ist.