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Time to Stop. Let's talk bridge, not attack each other

#1 User is offline   HighLow21 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 12:53

A series of different threads in the forums prompted me to start this thread. Is anyone else as tired as I am of the psychological bloodletting that's happening in these forums, particularly whenever people here disagree or misunderstand? I could point out a series of threads that demonstrates this to be true, but I don't want to single anyone out.

Here's a call to stop the nonsense. This is a place to discuss and learn about bridge, not to be attacked for disagreeing or using bad style or perhaps stating something that comes across as pompous under a certain reading of the typed text.

Anyone else in agreement?
There is a big difference between a good decision and a good result. Let's keep our posts about good decisions rather than "gotcha" results!
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#2 User is offline   mgoetze 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 13:02

Name some examples which didn't involve yourself.
"One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision"
    -- Bertrand Russell
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#3 User is offline   HighLow21 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 13:21

View Postmgoetze, on 2012-March-28, 13:02, said:

Name some examples which didn't involve yourself.

I suggest you read your signature quote to yourself, Michael. But here's one, since you asked:

http://www.bridgebas...id/page__st__40
There is a big difference between a good decision and a good result. Let's keep our posts about good decisions rather than "gotcha" results!
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#4 User is offline   mgoetze 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 13:48

Oh wow, han made a grumpy post and S2000magic for some reason felt the need to defend himself in detail. Psychological bloodletting? Not quite.

The quote, of course, is from an excellent Wikipedia article which BunnyGo recently recommended to you.
"One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision"
    -- Bertrand Russell
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#5 User is offline   Phil 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 13:53

View PostHighLow21, on 2012-March-28, 13:21, said:

I suggest you read your signature quote to yourself, Michael. But here's one, since you asked:

http://www.bridgebas...id/page__st__40


scratches head...
Hi y'all!

Winner - BBO Challenge bracket #6 - February, 2017.
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#6 User is offline   hrothgar 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 13:56

View Postmgoetze, on 2012-March-28, 13:48, said:

Oh wow, han made a grumpy post and S2000magic for some reason felt the need to defend himself in detail. Psychological bloodletting? Not quite.

The quote, of course, is from an excellent Wikipedia article which BunnyGo recently recommended to you.


Did Russell steal the quote from Yeats or was it the other way around?

Quote

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Alderaan delenda est
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#7 User is offline   billw55 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 14:05

I hereby attack this thread.

;)
Life is long and beautiful, if bad things happen, good things will follow.
-gwnn
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#8 User is offline   S2000magic 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 14:06

View Postmgoetze, on 2012-March-28, 13:48, said:

Oh wow, han made a grumpy post and S2000magic for some reason felt the need to defend himself in detail.

It wasn't so much that han's post was grumpy (we all make grumpy posts, yours truly included), but that I think that he was confusing someone else's replies with mine.
BCIII

"If you're driving [the Honda S2000] with the top up, the storm outside had better have a name."

Simplify the complicated side; don't complify the simplicated side.
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#9 User is offline   HighLow21 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 14:06

Alright, the consensus seems to be that I'm not adding any value to the BBO forums, so I'm done here. Thanks everyone.
There is a big difference between a good decision and a good result. Let's keep our posts about good decisions rather than "gotcha" results!
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#10 User is offline   S2000magic 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 14:06

View Postbillw55, on 2012-March-28, 14:05, said:

I hereby attack this thread.

;)

Parry.
BCIII

"If you're driving [the Honda S2000] with the top up, the storm outside had better have a name."

Simplify the complicated side; don't complify the simplicated side.
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#11 User is offline   Phil 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 14:09

View PostHighLow21, on 2012-March-28, 14:06, said:

Alright, the consensus seems to be that I'm not adding any value to the BBO forums, so I'm done here. Thanks everyone.


If you think 'adding value' includes nominating and electing yourself as the sheriff, or the chaplain of our little cybercommunity, what can I say?
Hi y'all!

Winner - BBO Challenge bracket #6 - February, 2017.
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#12 User is offline   mgoetze 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 14:10

Must ... resist ... upvote temptation ...
"One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision"
    -- Bertrand Russell
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#13 User is offline   billw55 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 14:11

View PostHighLow21, on 2012-March-28, 14:06, said:

Alright, the consensus seems to be that I'm not adding any value to the BBO forums, so I'm done here. Thanks everyone.

Oh gosh, it sounds like you want a *serious* reply. Fine ..

I agree, it is better when everyone is friendly and refrains from personal jabs and snide remarks. I have been grumped at a few times myself. I wasn't thrilled but I got over it shortly after closing the browser.

I find your bridge related posts enlightening and helpful. I would like you stay but that is your choice of course. But if you let a few crabby posters drive you off, you are doing the rest of us, and yourself, a disservice.
Life is long and beautiful, if bad things happen, good things will follow.
-gwnn
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#14 User is offline   HighLow21 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 14:19

View Postbillw55, on 2012-March-28, 14:11, said:

Oh gosh, it sounds like you want a *serious* reply. Fine ..

I agree, it is better when everyone is friendly and refrains from personal jabs and snide remarks. I have been grumped at a few times myself. I wasn't thrilled but I got over it shortly after closing the browser.

I find your bridge related posts enlightening and helpful. I would like you stay but that is your choice of course. But if you let a few crabby posters drive you off, you are doing the rest of us, and yourself, a disservice.

Thanks Bill, some positive feedback here for a change. I needed it today. But it's more than a few and I'm tired of defending my posts from people who, at this point, seem to just have a desire to stick it to me. They win. Good luck folks.
There is a big difference between a good decision and a good result. Let's keep our posts about good decisions rather than "gotcha" results!
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#15 User is offline   nigel_k 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 17:04

After you have said a couple of things that somebody doesn't agree with, that tends to affect their perception of everything you say afterwards and they take you less seriously as a result. This forum is no better or worse than elsewhere in that respect. But the advantage of an online forum is that you can start again with a different user name.
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#16 User is offline   barmar 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 17:05

This is the Internet. As a general rule, people are not as polite as they are in real life. It's unfortunate, but true -- psychologists have been studying it for years (Sherry Turkle of MIT is one of the leading scholars on the subject). So you need to develop a thick skin if you're going to spend any time here. I'm not excusing it, just acknowledging it, since we're not going to change human nature as a result of your request for civility.

You see the same thing on BBO, when people call each other names and racial slurs whenever they make bridge mistakes -- most would rarely do this with a f2f partner.

#17 User is offline   mr1303 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 19:24

Occasionally people say things that occasionally come out a little brusque perhaps. It's not the end of the world. Anything that is genuinely offensive, vulgar etc. soon gets pulled by the moderators, as indeed it should be.

But if you want any good bridge advice, there's no better place to go for it.
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#18 User is offline   qwery_hi 

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Posted 2012-March-28, 21:04

That he didn't quite have the values for his bidding?

View PostPhil, on 2012-March-28, 14:09, said:

If you think 'adding value' includes nominating and electing yourself as the sheriff, or the chaplain of our little cybercommunity, what can I say?

Alle Menschen werden bruder.

Where were you while we were getting high?
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#19 User is offline   Vampyr 

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Posted 2012-March-29, 04:49

HL,

This is the second thread you have started on the subject of "why aren't people nice to me?" I think you need to try to get over yourself.

You charged onto this forum in quite spectacular fashion, making a very bad impression on pretty much everyone. If you have been playing with and against random people on BBO, you have seen some pretty poor players, and it is an easy mistake to assume that this forum was populated by more of the same. It might have been better to read a little first; then you would have seen that among the regular posters is not just a BB runner-up, but at least half a dozen people who have represented their country in international competition, and many more who have respresented their county.

But what's done is done, and since then, a number of people have told you what you can do to avoid attracting negative attention; when you have remembered their advice and kept to it, things have gone OK for you. Keep posting with respect and a measure of humility (or at least lack of arrogance) and you will find your contributions welcomed.

Finally, try to remember that it's not all about you.
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones -- Albert Einstein
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#20 User is offline   Codo 

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Posted 2012-March-29, 05:33

BTW: I agree that the tone sometimes is quite harsh.

It is your responsibility to handle it. Some posters left this forum, a lot stayed. It is your choice. But you will not change it. Take the forum as what it is, not as what you want it to be.
If you would leave, I would miss you- I like it when people state their opinion, I may learn from them, even if I do not agree or if I think they wrote crap.

I write some silly things quite often myself and always like the answers- even the not so nice ones. For me, this is the best way to learn something new.
Kind Regards

Roland


Sanity Check: Failure (Fluffy)
More system is not the answer...
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