Thanks for the input all. As most of you figured out, we play that 2C doesn't promise real clubs (2+) and is GF, and that the 2S rebid only promised 5, though if it doesn't have 6+ it's a min balanced hand with values concentrated in the blacks. We sort of discussed that in this auction opener has denied 4 cards in any other suit, though they could potentially have a weak 4 card diamond suit if their spades were good?
I like what kenrexford suggested in his last post, minus the jumping to the 4 level part. It could work, probably more so in 2/1, but I'm not sure how much sense it makes in big club to put opener in charge when they're limited in strength and to basically two different hand shapes.
Maybe opener can spell out their hand in an auction like this:
1M-2
♣
2M-2NT
now 3 o/M shows the kind of hand opener had. Presumably if opener had hearts responder could rebid spades after the heart rebid if they had 4 (or opener could bid them, with precision the reverse doesn't carry as much weight), and if opener opened spades, unless the hearts were really really bad compared to the spades they'd bid 2
♥ over 2
♣. I guess the latter maybe runs into trouble when responder holds something like x, AKQx, KQxx, Kxxx and opener is 54 or 64... I might be getting too specific at this point though
The specific auctions would then be 1
♥-2
♣-2
♥-2NT-3
♠ and 1
♠-2
♣-2
♠-2NT-3
♥ and making responder fully captain at this point. Presumably responder has shown willingness to play in NT so with the crappy min balanced hand opener can just raise 2NT. This also lets us reserve bidding the major a 3rd time for an exceptional 6 card suit (not that AQ10xxx is anything to sneeze at) or a 7-bagger. Opener could also show 3 card club support if they wanted. Maybe it seems weird to create an auction for exactly this hand for opener, but I feel like this kind of opening hand isn't so rare that it wouldn't be useful.
I once yelled at my partner for discarding the 'wrong' card when he was subjected to a squeeze that I allowed by giving the wrong count with too high a card. Now he's allowed to pitch aces when the opponents have the king in the dummy. At trick 2. When he could have followed suit. And blame me.
East4Evil ♥ sohcahtoa 4ever!!!!!1