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At first you have an open heart
Then you use a diamond to express your love
Then you need a club to keep them under control
Then you need a spade to bury the bastard
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Marriage is like bridge
#2
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Posted 2006-August-30, 11:52
Insufficient bid :--D
"More and more these days I find myself pondering how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits."
John Nelson.
John Nelson.
#3
- Vugrapholic
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Posted 2006-August-30, 20:31
sceptic, on Aug 29 2006, 07:56 AM, said:
At first you have an open heart
Then you use a diamond to express your love
Then you need a club to keep them under control
Then you need a spade to bury the bastard
Then you use a diamond to express your love
Then you need a club to keep them under control
Then you need a spade to bury the bastard
She doubled me with: "me or bridge", I redoubled with "I call the taxi"
Robert
Preempts are Aberlour's best bridge friends
#4
- Brain Farts and Actual Farts Increasing with Age
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- Location:Lima, Allen County, North-West-Central Ohio, USA
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Posted 2006-August-30, 21:53
My wife recently handled a deal like a true woman.
I opened the bidding by offering diamonds.
She refused to offer me diamonds in return, although she had a number of them.
When on lead, she again refused to offer a diamond as her opening lead.
When I got in, I offered a diamond to her on my switch, but she reneged and, hence, refused to part with her diamonds, despite the rules.
This cost no trick, but the opponents were allowed to force me to not play a diamond later.
This also cost no trick. However, it did require my partner, in the end position, to make a guess as to what to keep, a guess that she would not have had if all of this had not preceded the guess.
Her guess concerned whether to save her high heart or to save the high diamond.
As she again refused to part with her diamond, the right play, all was well.
For the record, though, her reneg was to offer me a heart, which I caught in time. So, I suppose I'd rather have her offer me hearts for my diamonds, so long as I get the trick.
I opened the bidding by offering diamonds.
She refused to offer me diamonds in return, although she had a number of them.
When on lead, she again refused to offer a diamond as her opening lead.
When I got in, I offered a diamond to her on my switch, but she reneged and, hence, refused to part with her diamonds, despite the rules.
This cost no trick, but the opponents were allowed to force me to not play a diamond later.
This also cost no trick. However, it did require my partner, in the end position, to make a guess as to what to keep, a guess that she would not have had if all of this had not preceded the guess.
Her guess concerned whether to save her high heart or to save the high diamond.
As she again refused to part with her diamond, the right play, all was well.
For the record, though, her reneg was to offer me a heart, which I caught in time. So, I suppose I'd rather have her offer me hearts for my diamonds, so long as I get the trick.
"Gibberish in, gibberish out. A trial judge, three sets of lawyers, and now three appellate judges cannot agree on what this law means. And we ask police officers, prosecutors, defense lawyers, and citizens to enforce or abide by it? The legislature continues to write unreadable statutes. Gibberish should not be enforced as law."
-P.J. Painter.
-P.J. Painter.
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